Why Your First Boyfriend Won’t Be Your Last

When you’re 14/15 and a very impressionable, young girl you start to wonder if you’ll ever get a boyfriend unless you happen to be one of the lucky ones who is surrounded and worshipped by all the boys. Are you pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough, intelligent enough? School has a way of making you conscious about everything. From appearance to social life to good grades; it’s a minefield and navigating it at first can be quite tricky. Throw boys and relationships into the mix and sometimes everything becomes a bit much. I didn’t have any time for boys at that age, they were just the idiots who threw stuff at you in class or got detention for not doing the work. Not to mention so immature.

I watched friends explore in their first relationships and heard tales of how their boyfriends thought they were ‘frigid’ (horrible word) or how their mum wouldn’t let their boyfriend stay round and they got into an argument. I wasn’t jealous in the slightest, I didn’t want boys being mean to me and hanging around all the time. What would you do with one anyway? They aren’t like your friends. You can’t tell them about the new nail polish you just bought or how the girl who sits behind you in maths is quite honestly a bit of a tarty bitch. I knew enough about social skills to know boys just didn’t care about that sort of stuff. So here’s a few points about how your first boyfriend won’t be your last unless you are incredibly good at picking them ­čśë

1. Immaturity

It’s not just boys who suffer from this young person syndrome. Unfortunately girls do too. Remember all the times you laughed at your teacher who had spilled lunch down her top or wrote ‘I like bums’ in the French textbook and felt like the biggest rebel in the whole school? Yeah, doesn’t seem so cool now that you look back on it does it? I remember being incredibly immature at about 14/15. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Relationships take communication and work. Two things I had no interest in at that age. Friends are your world at that age and anything that threatens that can seriously jeopardise friendships between girls. How many times can you remember that friend who would cancel plans so she could be with her boyfriend when you deliberately┬ámade plans early to avoid that? It’s very annoying.

From watching, I have learnt from that and like to think I have a good balance between going out with my boyfriend and friends separately. I’m not embarrased to admit I was 18 when I went out with my first boyfriend. Yes, it’s a lot later than most people but hey I don’t care. At least I’m not 13 and have eyebrows that look like sharpie pen and skin the colour of a traffic light saying they love their ‘bae’ when they’ve only been going out two weeks. Sorry…

2. No Experience

Remember the first time you kissed someone and you thought ‘how the hell do I do this?!’ The awkward I want to hold hands, do they? Should I just take theirs? Do I like it when they do that? Do I stay round or are they going to pressure me for sex? My friends all SAY they’ve done it so I should too shouldn’t I? Or have they? AGGHHH!!! ┬áEverything is so awkward. You really really like them though in the style of Carly Rae Jepsen and are desperate to show them somehow. Is a small kiss goodbye too lame? We need these experiences to build up confidence and start to learn about the complicated world of relationships. You learn about your own body as well and all the things I blocked out during sex ed suddenley become very relevant.

3. First For Both

If it’s a first relationship or neither of you have much experience with anything then it might be a sign things won’t last. I’ve found conversation can be quite awkward as well since no one really knows how to take the lead and has very little clue of how to maintain a relationship. Time spent together may vary from a lot to a little. There’s no way of knowing.

4. Picking Someone Who’s Suited┬áFor You

When you’re younger, it’s hard to tell who’s nice and who’s not. You think everyone is your friend so that boy who is really good looking may not be as nice as the shy guy with glasses. As you get older you realise you never had anything in common with those boys and you were merely attracted to them not them as a person.

5. Responsibility

one thing I also had no interest in when I was young was adult responsibilities such as buying food and clothes, working and driving. As a teen you are restricted by this and you and your boyfriend are still living off your parents and not being independent by going these things alone. Although this shouldn’t play on a relationship, these are things you get to share as you get older together. It would eventually be buying a house and thinking about paying bills. What 14 year olds could handle that?

 

 

2 Comments

  1. rosieeek
    21/05/15 / 9:46 pm

    Great post! It’s very funny how our first boyfriends differ from the rest ­čÖé Check out my blog if you get a chance, I write about relationships as well! http://www.hookupcultures.com

    -Rosie

    • Kerrie
      22/05/15 / 8:32 pm

      Aw thank you ­čÖé Yes, the personalities can be very different! Okay I will do.

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