So, all you girls will know there is a method and specific technique to shopping and that it has to be broken up into stages of shop, lunch, shop, rest, shop and home, right? It is a fabulous experience and really should be classed as a hobby. It lives up to it’s name as retail therapy as well since nothing is better to cheer you up than buying that new dress that you know you look pretty damn hot in or those shoes that will probably rub your feet raw but hey they looked good until your feet died. I’ve compiled a list of stages we go through when on this important trip as I feel every girl wants to know they are not alone in the struggles and triumphs of shopping.
1. There’s so many shops which one first?!
You have just arrived at the shopping centre with your friends and now comes the hard decision of which shop to go in first. One friend is adamant about going in that trashy old shop with the coloured leggings and bright tops that is SO last season while one of the others wants to go in Clintons to choose a card for their brother which you just know will take forever. So how about you? River Island is calling. You can see that beautiful leather jacket staring you down from the window. You just know it will look amazing on you and are desperate to see if they have your size but alas no, you are dragged away from God’s gift to clothes and into the card shop.
2. The first clothes shop
Finally! We have got to the good stuff. First, skim the whole shop and scout out the best stuff. It’s here that we will start. Rifle through a few things so you don’t look too needy then pick out that dark red top and hold it up against you. Walk over to the mirror nearest to one of your friends and turn from side to side examining how good you look, hoping your friend will notice this little act of self vanity. They will then say: ‘Oh that looks so good on you!’ and you will say: Really, you think so?’ and they will reply: ‘For sure, you have to get it!’ and you say: ‘Aw thank you, I guess I will, I do like it.’
Clutching this tight to your chest and glaring at anyone else who picks it up including your friend who innocently asks: ‘Mind if I try it on too?’ Of course you say they can but inside you are fuming and hope it’s a bit unflattering. (Please say this isn’t just me?!)
Looking round the shop once more, you pick up a few more things and advise your friends that that dress is soo them and those shoes totally match their eyes.
3. Changing rooms
It is then off to the changing rooms where all hell ensues. There is normally a long queue where you subtly glance at the garments everyone else has in case you’ve missed anything. Once inside, you check your hair and make up in the mirror and get changed, whilst calling to you friends that they have to give their honest opinion and not say ‘it’s nice!’ First dress is on and it’s a little tight round the back and sides. In fact you barely got it on and it feels like it’s taking your blood pressure. It’s cute though. Your friends agree and say it shows off your amazing figure. ‘Stop!’ you say but inside you know you are going to get this dress even if your life depends on it. Now to get out of it…
HOW MUCH?!! It’s nice but it’s not that nice. I can’t even justify spending that much on a weekly shop let alone one dress. It’s soo nice though and it shows off my amazing figure. It could be an early birthday present to myself couldn’t it? My birthday isn’t for another 6 months though…Christmas? That was 3 months ago. Ugh, I can’t even pay back that amount if I use my credit card. Life sucks. Why can’t I earn more? Maybe they’d let me pay it in instalments? I’ll leave it and come back if I haven’t bought anything else. Which I will have but I’m having this dress *hides it at the back of the rail under some jumpers and whispers ‘I won’t leave you’.
5. Do I really need it?
No but I want it which is the same right? It’s a bit on the pricey side but too late, I’ve bought it and I feel great. I keep glancing in the bag just to look at its beauty and to check it’s still there and not folding too much. I’ve probably got a few things similar to this at home but hey this one is new so it will last longer. I’m not sure where I can put it but it will just have to squeeze in somewhere. It will look good with my new jeans.
6. It matches with nothing
These bright green trousers with chains on them are so cool! I’m buying them and they’re pretty cheap too. Who wouldn’t want these? I don’t know what I’d wear them with though? How about that white top? Hm, the green is quite bright though and the top is baggy like the trousers. What about the grey top with black stripes? Too much pattern. I’ll just get them anyway and only ever wear them round the house with something that doesn’t match.
7. It’s too big/ small but I’m having it
They don’t have it in my size but baggy is the new way to wear things right? Even if I look like a kid in an adults top? I should probably just put it back. Maybe I can sew it up to make it smaller or put it in the wash? I could stretch it to make it bigger? I’m buying it. I don’t care what people say. It’s a dark horse of a top and will look amazing once I’ve glammed it up a bit.
8. Stuff I need but don’t want
I need to buy new jeans, some pumps and a bikini but I’ve ended up with those groovy blue leggings, high heels and that bikini that maybe is a bit revealing and I will most likely be taking back next week. I don’t want jeans so I’m not buying them. I need them though cause the others don’t fit over my bum anymore and have a nail polish stain on them. Eugh. I tried to look for pumps too but none of them fitted me and the ones that did were hideous. The heels are much nicer, even though I can barely walk in them and can’t wear them to work like I had planned to with buying the pumps.
9. The Sale
Aghhh there’s a sale in Topshop, quick! Grab everything and don’t even think about trying it on because look at the queue for the changing rooms. I’ll have to sleep in the shopping centre if I join that. Let’s just buy it all and I can return it if it doesn’t fit. Wow I only spent £65! That’s good for Topshop anyway. Oh there’s a sale in New Look too! Oh damn, most of the good stuff has been taken. Well there’s those shoes but they aren’t in my size. I’ll take them and that jacket would look good with my new top I guess but it’s not in the sale. Buy it anyway.
10. CAN’T FIND ANYTHING!!!!
The most infuriating thing that happens when shopping is when however much you search, you cannot find anything you want. Desperate to not be the only one who hasn’t bought anything, you go on a panic buy and buy something for the sake of it. You don’t even like it and it doesn’t even fit that well but it doesn’t matter because you have a bag now and that’s all that matters. *Breathe’s sigh of relief.*
So there it is, my list of the shopping experience. Agree? Don’t agree? Let me know if you can relate to any of this 🙂