Diary Of A Road Rager

Now I have hit the road in full force and actually really enjoy driving, there are some things I have noticed about the other peasants on the road. Most notably annoying things that stop the rest of us competent drivers from having a pleasurable driving experience. What you would typically call a small bout of road rage is what I seem to be suffering from and it is through no fault of my own. Some people need to just accept that they can’t drive and get off the road so the rest of us can get places… like work…on time preferably.

1. The Snail

The most common type of bad driver is the dreaded snail. Most commonly in the form of anyone over the age of 65, they are most commonly found on a Sunday along Eastbourne seafront. Sorry to those over 65 who are good drivers. My grandad happens to be one of them. There are a small minority of you who are good drivers. You can stay. I’m talking about those of you who go 20 in a 30, brake at every bend, every time a car pulls out 50 meters ahead of you and either forget about those things called indicators or leave them on too long. COME ON PEOPLE! ¬†I have to get to work today please.

2. The Unnecessary Braker

I think I actually hate this type of driver more than the snail. You never know when they are going to slam on those breaks and send you into a swearing rage because you had to do the same. They not only brake when necessary at traffic lights, roundabouts and zebra crossings but round corners, down small hills, up hills?! and at regular intervals along the road for absolutely no reason. Dread the time when the speed limit goes from 60 to 30. Cue more swearing and steering wheel banging.

3.The Over Taker

I hate these people. They think they are all it and can overtake whenever they want even if that happens to be on a corner with traffic coming the other way. Do they have a death wish? Probably and they want you to die of a heart attack watching them. They relish in driving right up to your bumper, swerving dramatically round you, cruising past your window, having a quick glare in the window then shooting on up the road. However, they are soon stopped by the next car a few meters ahead who they overtake as well. Good, it’s not just me. Then they are stopped by the traffic lights and ha you’ve caught them up again. Now look who’s all smug.

4. The Learner

I feel a bit mean including this one as I was a learner not that long ago and we all were in that position once. However, some learners just cannot drive and should drive on smaller roads before doing a snail and stalling repeatedly. I then have to try and keep calm as you indicate, slow down, stop then decide it wasn’t that turning you needed but the next one. Just a bit annoying.

5. The Huge Vehicle

Whether it be a big van, lorry, car carrier thingy, or tractor, you all are bad at maintaining an acceptable speed. It’s impossible to over take as well since I can’t see over the top of the vehicle, much less round it. You just have to chance it and sneak out from behind it, hoping no cars are coming the other way.

6. The Indecisive One

This driver changes speed every 5 minutes whether the situation calls for it or not. One minute they are crawling along, then they are speeding ahead. They also can’t do roundabouts and take about 5 minutes after they should have gone to pull out slowly and edge round the roundabout like a ninja. Like the learner, they can’t decide which turning to take, where to park or which lane they should be in. It’s very infuriating.

7. The Lane Changer

Whether it be on a motorway or just on the way to Brighton, they have no clue which confuses the rest of us. They hop lanes in the hope that this will end eventually and they will get where they want. It’s even more dangerous on a motorway and they switch from inside to outside lane¬†without consideration for others causing a symphony of beeping horns to ensue. GET OUT THE WAY YOU LITTLE…

8. The Terrible Parker

They just can’t do it. They start off okay and then turn the wheel too much and nearly crash into the car next to them so they try to correct it but they turn the wrong way, then the right way then back then forward then out until eventually giving up and trying all over again.

9. The Lost One

This is the people you see gabbing away to each other and peering out their window trying to see the names of roads. They most often have a Sat Nav at hand too but this doesn’t seem to help them and they crawl along like the snail, indicating every so often and veering across the road in hope they are near their final destination.

10. The Crasher

This person doesn’t know the meaning of brakes and has crashed many times before. They often bump peoples bumpers and scratch down the sides of other cars, trees, walls and anything in their way. They basically have no spacial awareness.

There are many other types of bad drivers like the boy racer and the one who pulls out in front of everyone and doesn’t accelerate but I think I’ve explained enough for you to get my point. There are annoying road users who will always try and make our lives more difficult. It’s just a good thing they can’t hear the stream of swear words aimed at them from inside my car.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *