I have read so many articles on reasons why it sucks to be the single girl in your group of friends and yeah, all the points strike a chord but not anymore obviously. However, I’m not here to talk about being in a relationship. I’m here to talk about all the amazing single people out there. I want to tell everyone it’s okay to not be in a relationship and sadly actually ‘teach’ people a few lessons about not alienating their friends when they are the only single ones left in the group. It’s not fair, I’ve been there and it sucks when your friends are all loved up with their partner and you have no one, so here are some pointers to you taken people so you can have a balance between your boyfriend and friends.
DO NOT SAY:
- ‘I’ll set you up with one of his single friends!”
On the surface this seems like a nice thing to say to a singleton but noo. It’s cringey and above all, patronising. It’s like assuming they can’t find their own partner without supervision and that you have the best taste in men. It’s also a bit weird since you don’t know them and you are both there just because you are single. Awkward.
2. ‘You’ll find someone soon, don’t worry’
Oh yeah, we weren’t worrying at all about whether we’d spend the rest of our lives alone. Nope, not at all but now that you mention it, it becomes all that we think about. Everyone is perfectly capable of finding their own partner and to me, this statement implies you are desperately looking for someone.
3. ‘Are you sure you’re not a lesbian?!’
Only said by really mean friends who aren’t really your friends or prying family members but it still hits hard. Come on, this is the laziest stereotype in the book! Just because you are single doesn’t mean you are homosexual.
4. ‘Do you want me to ask that guy over for you?”
NO! Not in any case is this okay. We can do it by ourselves if we are that interested. Goodness knows what you might say to him about me…desperate maybe lesbian looking for a husband. Great first impression.
5. ‘Maybe you’re going for the wrong sort of guys?’
What is that even supposed to mean?! This may be true but that’s for you to work out on your own, not your friends.
6. ‘Maybe you should lower your standards!’
This is rude, we will become enemies very quickly if this is uttered or even implied. It’s good to have high standards so you go out with someone you really care about but yes, some people take it to the extreme. They have to look like Channing Tatum (facially and physically), they have to buy me flowers, chocolate, dinner, lots of presents and spend every waking minute with me. No they don’t! All that is good in moderation but this is what causes people to moan they don’t have a boyfriend. I may do a separate post on this as I feel a rant coming on!
7. Unnecessary PDA
Even though I’m actually in a relationship, I sometimes find it a bit uncomfortable when I can see my friends snogging the face off of their boyfriend or just touching them everywhere. Eugh, calm down. Do it in a sensible manner and I don’t mind. I’ll even specify in case you’re wondering what’s acceptable. Hand holding, arms round (also back pocket), some kissing, cuddling, knee patting (not stroking), lap sitting. THAT. IS. ALL!
8. Tagging your friends in single girl posts
Not only is it embarrassing because the whole of Facebook can see but it’s so relatable it makes you want to cry. Oh yeah, I do sit in on Friday nights and eat ice cream in front of Netflix. I still do that but with one more person, it’s not much different I promise :P.
9. Going out with the girls but inviting your boyfriend
I try not to do this but luckily we’re all good friends with friends’ boyfriends so this doesn’t really matter too much (bless my amazing group of friends!) There are some times though where you want it to be just you and your friends without guys. Keep the bf out of it.
10. Talking about them alllll the time!
Oh it’s hard not to isn’t it?! Everyone is guilty of this but try to make it more casual in conversation rather than blurting out their whole life story and how amazing they are. It’s a right bore to your single friends who are wishing they were at home in front of Netflix with their ice cream 😉
11. Sharing TMI
So so awkward and really unnecessary. Some of my friends are more open than others and sharing intimate details is either the etiquette or frowned upon depending on the person. Single friends don’t care. This reminds them what they don’t have. It’s mean, it’s too much information and they’d rather not have those images in their head thank you very much!
So with that I round up my list of why we shouldn’t alienate our single friends. We love you as much as our boyfriends. Don’t ever change unless you get a boyfriend, then come to us for approval…