Why The Girl Should Make The First Move

When I was younger I had it drummed into my head again and again that it’s the boys job to ask a girl out. I didn’t read much into this and just accepted that was the way it was. I was a nervous young teenager anyway so this suited me perfectly. What I didn’t comprehend though was that boys find it just as scary as girls to approach someone and start talking to them. Which is why I thought I’d write this post.

Times are changing and people are changing, especially the younger generation. We are all addicted to those rectangular pieces of tech that stay glued to our hands. We are constantly in contact with friends and for most of us, boys. The age of flirting has been defined by the brilliant or ridiculously cringey (however you want to view it) emojis. We can simply send one of these instead of writing a message and can hide behind a social persona who is more experienced, funnier, cooler and braver than our actual selves. Social media is a huge platform that we can invest in to talk to guys from dating apps such as Tinder to the more simpler messaging apps such as Whatsapp and Facebook Messenger. Messenger is instant and you can see when people have viewed your message. It’s debatable as to whether this is a good thing or not as it can be offensive when people see the message and just don’t reply. There may be a number of reasons for this but still…RUDE!

Anyway, back to the point of this post. Girls should sometimes think about making the first move if they really want a relationship. We all know most guys are lazier than girls and just aren’t very good at that thing called communication. So, why don’t we do it? We are so insecure and paranoid about whether a guy likes us or not that we often can’t do anything about our crushes. Guys feel this too but they have to actually be the one to pluck up the courage to do something because society has told them they should. Not very fair right?

I know I have missed my chance with people because I sat back and waited for things to happen and was disappointed when they didn’t. Then when the guy did pluck up the courage to admit his feelings, I was in another relationship. I couldn’t help wondering how my life might have turned out if he had said this before or if I had plucked up the courage to say something but I honestly believe things happen for a reason and I couldn’t be happier in the relationship I’m in now. He’s also with someone else now too so it’s fine. Just don’t let that be you hanging on waiting for the guy to make a move.

Reasons why you should make the first move:

1. Makes you more attractive to the guy

Honestly, it does. I’ve made the first move before and one of my friends asked two of her boyfriends out. It’s impressive, go for it.

2. They feel the same way but can’t express it

Some guys struggle to talk about their feelings. Not all (such a common misconception!) Girls love to talk about everything though so just tell the guy how you feel, even if he didn’t have feelings before, the fact you plucked up the courage to do it, might open his eyes to actually thinking about dating you.

3. Stereotypes are being broken down

Luckily, it’s not just seen as the guys job to initiate a relationship any more. Even proposals are being said by women. It’s not seen as desperate, it’s romantic and to me shows a sign of equality if both genders can actively push a relationship forward.

Do you agree that women should ask out guys and do relationship-y things that men typically do?

7 Comments

  1. 21/09/15 / 4:52 pm

    Love this! I wrote a post a while back about this, but had a hard time convincing myself that women should make the first move. It really made me think about the guts it takes for guys to make the first move – but I do agree you should go after what you want!

    -Rosie
    http://www.hookupcultures.com

    • Kerrie
      21/09/15 / 4:58 pm

      Thanks! I know what you mean, it’s harder when you’re younger but as you get older you realise how hard it is. It makes your relationships better if you have a say too.

  2. NaomiEdge17
    22/09/15 / 9:41 am

    Love the post! 🙂
    Love your honesty by the way, I find people tend to shy away and not talk about these types of things on blogs/online. I had drummed into me at an early (ish) age also, as if it was the ‘normal’ or done thing to do. I hate these types of stereotypes but I think with more people speaking out about it things are more likely to change! I can relate so much to your point about not saying anything and missing chances, the last person I went out with I ended up ‘making the first move’ which worked out as turns out we both liked each other but were too scared to say anything, I think it makes you more assertive and look more attractive to that other person.

    • Kerrie
      22/09/15 / 11:05 am

      Aw thank you! Yeah exactly, I completely agree with you there. It’s such a shame when you miss out on something that could have been something good. I figure being honest is the only way to get people to read the blog and take something from it. Also, like you I’m frustrated by the stereotypes and am a big supporter of gender equality! 🙂

      • NaomiEdge17
        22/09/15 / 3:51 pm

        Your very welcome 🙂 Exactly! I can be like that myself and have been in the past for sure, but feel you get more confident as you get older? Don’t know if that’s just me. Oh yes of course! I think people can read through it if it isn’t, if that makes sense? Not meaning you! I hate most stereotypes generally but specifically ones relating to that! All for gender equality also 🙂

        • Kerrie
          23/09/15 / 11:42 am

          Haha yeah I get what you mean! It’s fine, I figure if I enjoy writing it then people should mostly enjoy reading it but if it’s boring to write then the readers won’t enjoy it.

  3. NaomiEdge17
    24/09/15 / 4:00 pm

    Good 🙂 Yeah exactly! You have to love what you do anyway, and I always write what I want to, not what others want 🙂

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