Hello all, I’m typing this exhausted as I just took the dog for an hours walk in the sunshine. It was really nice but I’d quite like a nap now. Anyway, here’s day 11 of the 30 day writing challenge.
DAY 11 – Something you always think ‘What if…’ about
I don’t really like thinking about alternatives in life and where would I be if this happened or if I’d done that. It’s funny to think how different life would be if you didn’t get that job or went to this school and made friends with a whole new bunch of people.
I always think what if I’d stayed at Uni for the 3 years instead of dropping out? What would I be doing now? Would I be working in journalism? Would I be living somewhere else? Would I be enjoying life? I think the answer to those questions would be no.
Imagine I had stayed at Uni for a moment. I may have started to enjoy it more and get used to the course but from what I heard it didn’t get much better and the lectures were few and far between. I used to feel really lonely and I don’t think that would have changed. I had friends but missed my life at home so much and was trying so hard to keep up both sides of my life, that I wasn’t really sure who I was anymore.
I had no idea that going to Uni could actually make you MORE confused about what you wanted to do in life. Before I went, I thought I knew a fair bit about music, film and lifestyle and maybe could write features for those sorts of magazines but I soon realised how much other people knew and that I was a small town girl who needed a lot more confidence and a deep passion for a subject to write about it.
It scared me and if I’d stayed, I’d probably still be feeling like a failure because I didn’t think I was as good as these big city people who seemed to have it all worked out.
I’m extremely glad I did drop out of Uni because I’ve been so much happier living back at home and getting a job where I feel more comfortable. I would probably have never met my boyfriend if I’d stayed at Uni and he’s such a massive part of my life now. I would have probably lost touch with most of my friends back at home which would have been really sad as they’re also a big part of my life. I would never probably have got the job I’m in now which I’m really enjoying and I’d be in even more debt.
So whilst looking back and wondering ‘what if…’ can be interesting, it also makes me so grateful that I listened to myself and moved back home.
What do you think ‘what if…’ about?