New Year’s Eve will mark three years that my boyfriend and I have been together. It seems like it’s gone crazily fast and I can’t quite believe how much we’ve managed to pack into three years. I guess now is the time when friends start hinting at marriage (if they haven’t already) and my relationship is probably what you’d call long term. Scary right?
I wish I could tell you it’s been an easy ride thus far but I’d be lying if I said it had. The majority of our time together has been amazing and there’s nothing I value higher than spending time with someone who knows me better than anyone else. There have been other times where I’ve felt like tearing my hair out in frustration but those moments don’t last too long.
Here’s how to survive year three as a couple…
Talk about everything together
This may seem like a fairly obvious one but I don’t mean discussing how your day went or which side of the family you’re spending Christmas with this year.
If something’s bugging you; let your other half know. If there’s something you’d like more of in your relationship; don’t hold back. It’s best to be open from the beginning. So many disagreements which could have turned into full blown arguments have been avoided just from talking through why we’re feeling that way.
This all comes back to communication, that old chestnut which is said to be the foundation of a good relationship. It’s the most obvious one but we so often don’t say exactly what we mean in fear of failure or being ridiculed.
My boyfriend (and my friends come to that) have been the cheapest forms of therapy and arguably better than any counselling I could pay for…
Check in regularly
If like us, you don’t live together (or even if you do) your phone will no doubt be full of ‘how was your day? And ‘good night’ texts. On the days that you don’t see each other, it’s nice to check in with your other half to see how their day is going.
Yes, it is ultimately small talk but I genuinely want to know how their day went and what they’re having for dinner. With the extension of GIF’s now on iPhone, text speak is even more exciting. Ours normally consist of the sappy kind or dogs being cute. It’s pretty much always dogs!
Do something nice for them
I can’t even count the number of practical things my boyfriend has done for me over the years including repeatedly fixing my car, making me dinner, carrying my bags, buying me dinner, picking me up after nights out; the list is endless.
I’ve struggled to find things to do which show that I appreciate the help he offers. I’m the not so practical one. I occasionally make dinner or help make it when we’re together, I sometimes make tea and toast and sometimes pick him up.
Finding ways to make someone’s life easier will always get you in their good books. One of my favourites is to make a homemade gift (which doesn’t make life easier but puts a smile on their face). I’ll be doing a post on my homemade gifts later this year.
Don’t succumb to pressure
I was having a little trawl of the internet whilst writing this post to see what other blog posts had been written on this topic and I stumbled across something called the three-year itch.
I’d never heard of it before but it basically means couples getting bored of each other at the three year mark and splitting up. Apparently, this is the most common time for couples to break up. According to The Daily Mail and Huffington Post, this so called itch used to rear it’s ugly head around seven years together so we’re only getting worse.
I’d advise you to not read articles like this and don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Focus on how content you’re feeling with the way things are going. Happiness will be found in different places for everyone.
Have a date night
This doesn’t have to be as often as once a week and doesn’t have to involve going out (but I’d encourage you to – even if it’s just for a drive). We went out for a meal last week to our local curry house, just the two of us, and it was so nice to chat about everyday life and enjoy a good meal.
This isn’t exactly revolutionary and we go out for food all the time but there was something about celebrating the end of the week and having an evening meal as opposed to lunch.
So those are my tips for keeping your relationship happy and healthy in year three. What things do you do to keep the peace in your relationship?