Not All Men

I read an article recently on a viral meme called Not all Men (Are Like That) aka- NAMALT which focuses on the generalised statements made about men. That doesn’t really explain the whole debacle and to be honest it’s quite a bit more complicated than that but I’ll try to simplify it slightly.

Basically, the idea is that men defend themselves against the lazy stereotypes that they face in society. Most people think that it’s only women who face these problems but in fact men are targeted just as badly. The main problem is sexism. As a woman, I know what it’s like to be the butt joke of everyday sexism and mostly I just take it as exactly that. However, men receive sexist remarks too.

How? You may ask. Well, it is a deep embedded tradition that women are the image of domesticity and handle all household matters but men don’t even get a say in that. I’m not sure this really bothers them to be honest since they’d probably rather be
watching football or doing anything but, but most men generally care about the place they live in and want to keep it in a (fairly) reasonable state. Also, along with a house comes family and sometimes it comes across in society that men are excluded from this since they didn’t give birth and don’t get maternity leave (I know some men do but the consensus that women have to deal with raising a child alone is frankly rubbish.)

Then there is the matter of sex talk. Now, I don’t know what guys talk about to their friends, well okay I do a little bit from hanging around with guys but they wouldn’t say half of what they do with their friends, in front of me. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is a certain etiquette between guys that whoever sleeps with the most women and brags about it afterwards gets ‘Lad Points’ This is a stereotype! It may be true of some but I know for a fact that the title of this post states Not All Men Are Like That!

Another point is the phrase ‘My Eyes Are Up Here!’ Again, this is a lazy stereotype that not all men are guilty of. You can probably guess what it means and it’s obviously to do with judging women by how they look or even worse, objectifying us. Yes, some men do this but a lot of them don’t and are genuine guys who are respectful towards women. This brings me onto my next point which is cheating. Luckily I have never experienced this myself but I know a fair few people who have and it’s just horrible. When a girl meets a guy or gets into a relationship with a guy, unfortunately the question of whether they will be cheated on does cross their mind. This also may be a stereotype but the worse one is the guy as the cheater. The majority of guys will not cheat because they love or just really want to be with the person they’re with. Simple as that.

As girls though we just can’t seem to accept this and get paranoid about the slightest thing. So, I’m telling all of womankind here, chill out! They’re allowed to have friends who are girls, allowed to go out without you and can talk to whoever they want okay? As long as they still care about you, what’s the problem? I’ll tell you what it is. Trust. No one damn trusts each other in this world anymore. I trust my boyfriend, so trust yours and you might have a better relationship.

Other things that are wrongly assumed about men are that when we hear of rape stories we always presume it is a man raping a woman, not the other way round, they are abusive towards women and look down upon women in the workplace. NOT TRUE! I know so many good guys who wouldn’t dream of doing any of that; it just saddens me how many stereotypes seem to have developed from the minority who do.

There are so many points I could make which makes me feel bad to go into detail about them all since I truly don’t believe men are like this. Another big one I guess is how men are seen to take control over women and what they do. It used to be more evident in past years, but some men control what a woman wears (ridiculous!) how they look, whether they can go out and this can expand to any area of their life leaving them with very little self-confidence. Again, this has never happened to me but sadly I know it has happened to friends of mine in one way or another who have suffered because of it. That isn’t the point I’m trying to make here though. A lot of men go out of their way to compliment women on their appearance and more notably now their achievements which is really nice and makes me happy about the world. (Haha)

Lastly, the statement that chivalry is dead annoys me a lot. So much so that it almost makes me laugh because of how stupid it is. Okay, so romance isn’t as glorified as it used to be but that doesn’t mean it is dead! A lot of guys are incredibly sweet to their girlfriends and this is evident through Facebook where I see pictures of flowers, birthday presents, meals out and just photos of couples together. Women aren’t forcing you into doing this at all and some people find it cheesy which is fine but for women to moan that their guy isn’t ‘romantic enough’ just makes me want to hit them. Why don’t we try being the romantic ones for once? It seems guys have to do everything in a relationship, see it’s hard for me to refrain from stereotypes but I think you get my gist.

So come on women, give your man a break and stop assuming things about men. Not all men are bad and are going to hurt you. Not all men will judge you on appearance. Not all men will cheat on you and certainly not all men will be abusive! We definitely need to tone down the stereotypes and take guys for who they are.

 

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