Accepting Compliments

Why can’t we accept them? Why do we always brush them off or reply with some self – deprecating comment that ruins our esteem?  I hope I’m not the only one who finds it hard to take complements sometimes (however nice they are) and just completely deny myself of the right to feel good about who I am. Okay, I’m being dramatic, or am I?

It’s a wide spread topic and the title of this post probably doesn’t fill you with excitement but I believe that our ability to accept compliments as human beings is severely lacking. Even when writing this post, I was unsure of how good it was and by my flatmate complementing it, I was able to see it wasn’t so bad.

Girls seem to suffer more from the ability to accept. We are taught by society and the media that we should brush them off and not to act overly arrogant but if someone is truly complimenting you, your talents, or your achievements surely we should be pleased? It seems not (in my case anyway). I know when someone says complements me, I just think they are being nice and don’t actually mean it but the truth is; they probably do. We are riddled with self-doubt about our own abilities and it has to stop. Not everyone is and I applaud you for your healthy confidence. I just haven’t found it yet.

We are more than happy to compliment others on what they do but when it comes to ourselves it’s another story. According to a Psychologist at The Daily Mail, we would rather return the compliment to take the attention off of us. Sounds about right. How many times have you had a conversation that goes like this?

  • Your hair looks really nice
  • Thanks, I like your top

We aren’t accepting the compliment but playing off onto someone else so as not to come across as arrogant. Is it secretly making us feel awkward? Human’s love attention though so this can’t be the case. There are times where we enjoy receiving compliments. I’ve noticed we can accept them online just not face to face. I know I for one need to stop with the self-deprecating. I do use it to my advantage though; it’s what shapes my blog and unfortunately most of my humour!

So, I’m making a vow to accept and not play off every compliment I get because it doesn’t mean I’m arrogant or selfish. It means I can accept myself and stop doubting what I can do. Studies show it’s unattractive to deny yourself of compliments too so looks like I should stop. There are obviously going to be some situations where it’s okay to be humble and deny things but for the most part people, girls especially, should try to accept what others are saying. Believe me when I say they actually mean it.

2 Comments

  1. 28/09/14 / 3:49 pm

    I agree, I think women are more humbled and self-doubting. I used to be like you and felt very sheepish when someone gave me a compliment. I never knew how to respond.
    I have gotten better about it, just replying, “Thanks!” with a smile. And you know what? I felt better about it, the more I did it.
    You shouldn’t feel like you need to give someone a compliment because they gave you one. In the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” they talk about how you should be genuinely nice and friendly to people all the time. If you like someone’s shirt, say so! It is very gratifying complimenting someone else and seeing how much you brighten their day.
    It is a much better way to be and you probably will find yourself much happier. 🙂

    • Kerrie
      02/10/14 / 11:10 am

      That’s good advice 🙂 I agree with what you are saying. I’m going to try and do this more often and hopefully be happier in myself 🙂

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