Inspired by that very catchy Taylor Swift song, I thought I’d write a little post on how I believe you seduce the female race.
1. Stare at them
Not in a creepy, I’m stalking you kind of way but a subtle once over and glance from across the bar. Make sure to get their eye contact and smile. If they smile back look away immediately and talk to your friends. Chances are she is talking to her friends too saying how that cute guy at the bar just looked at her.
2. Go and sit near her
Position yourself as near to her as you can. Sit at the nearest table and have another glance over. Maybe angle your body towards her whilst keeping full attention on your friends.
3. Ask her to take your photo
Go over and give her your phone. Say it’s your birthday and could she take a photo of you and your friends? It’s innocent and strikes up a conversation. She’ll say happy birthday and might even ask how old you are. If not, wait for her to take the photo, making sure you say thank you and smile. Touching her shoulder as a way of thanks always goes a long way.
4. Ask what they are doing there
Once she has given your phone back, ask what her and her friends are doing there and if they come here often. DON’T ask where they are going after this. It is a common misconception that this gets you in with a girl but if it was me I’d think that’s like them assuming you want their company and they will follow you. They might say it’s someone’s birthday and in that case offer to buy them all drinks with the help of your mates. If they are just out on a Saturday night, ask if you can buy her a drink. The worst she can say is no right?
5. Buy her a drink
Ask her to come with you so she can choose what she wants, you will also get to talk to her away from her friends. Girls act differently around their friends especially if there happen to be guys around too. Take the opportunity to ask her where she’s from, what she does, what she likes and if she likes the bar. Hand her the drink, extra points for a straw and walk back to the table with her.
Sit down next to her, but not too close. Maybe make a joke about the type of drink she chose. Cosmo? What a typical choice for a girl! Tease a little but not too much. Ask her what she gets up to at the weekend and how she knows her friends. These are safe topics that girls like to talk about. If it’s going well, she will lean in closer and smile when you are talking. Lean in as well and make the occasional touch to the arm and shoulder NOT the knee. We don’t know you that well.
When it looks like her and her friends are leaving, ask what their plans are for the rest of the night. Don’t make any move to follow them but explain what you plan to do and say they are welcome to join if they want. If yes, proceed to club together but if not say you’d like to see her again and exchange numbers.
It’s important not to go too over the top in the club. Ensure you aren’t too drunk as this can be a major turn off and lead the girl to think you don’t genuinely like them. Maybe offer to buy her another drink or her and her friends some shots. It’s okay if we get a little drunk.
Comment on how pretty she looks in that dress/ outfit and ask if she wants to get some air. If she looks unsure, ask if she wants to go and dance but if she nods then take her hand (we like that) and lead her to the smoking area. It’s not fresh air but it’s good enough. Don’t have a cigarette even if you smoke. Do that with your mates later. Say you’ve had a really nice time and you’re glad you met. Gauge her reaction and make sure she agrees. Ask if she’s cold and wants your jacket. Even if she’s not she will probably take it anyway. Rub her shoulders and smile at her. Maybe hug her to you.
9. The kiss
It’s always hard to know whether to go for this one or not. I don’t like guys to be too forward but as long as they’ve been respecting my space for most of the night, I will let them go in for the kiss. Just go for it. We let you buy us a drink, came to your choice of club and went outside with you so chances are we won’t mind if you kiss us. No tongues and don’t make it too long.
The night is over and it’s time to go your separate ways. Kiss her on the cheek and say thanks for a great night. Tell her to text you when she gets back but text her anyway to make sure she gets home safely.
There’s your 10 rules for meeting someone at a bar. I might do a follow up for a second restaurant date. What do you think?