So this is basically a counterpoint to my previous post: ‘How You Get The Girl’. I’ve done a bit of role reversal and tried to see things from a guys point of view. Trickier than it may seem. Here goes:
1. Make the first move
Nothing is more attractive than a girl who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to get it. It takes a lot of courage to hit on someone and if that responsibility is taken off of a guys hands, it becomes a big relief. They will think you are attractive if they know you have chosen them over everyone else. It’s not as nerve wracking as it seems especially now that we have phones and social media. I have been the one to make the first move a couple of times and it worked out okay. I liked feeling in control and everything was on my terms. Just know when to take a back seat and let them organise something.
2. Don’t approach alone
Make sure that when you walk up to a guy that you aren’t alone. I’m not saying surround yourself with a whole group of girls because that can be quite intimidating for him but a couple of friends is fine. It shows this is just a casual thing and doesn’t really matter to you either way. Get them to stand near you at the bar and then speak to the guy after ordering your drink. Make sure he is directly next to you so it’s obvious you are about to speak to him. Say hi and introduce yourself. Say you haven’t seem him here before as you are here most weekends and know the regulars here. Not too creepy. He’ll introduce himself and explain a little about what he is doing in this bar, then maybe ask you.
3. Offer to buy the drinks
Often seen as the man’s duty, this shouldn’t be the case. Women should actively spend their money too and here it will probably get you the guy. If he doesn’t accept after asking twice, just leave it. He might buy you a drink or just isn’t interested. If he lets you, ask who he’s here with. Here you are sizing up what situation you are going to get yourself into by going back to his table with him. Introduce your friends at this point too so he knows where you stand.
Introduce yourself to his friends and introduce your friends. Take a seat beside or opposite him. Ask him how he knows his friends and what he is doing here. Easy conversation that he can ask you as well. Smile and look attentive but not too keen. Also keep up conversation with your friends and act like you’re ignoring him. He will probably try and bring you back to his conversation.
Initiate some contact but not enough to be too touchy feely. The light touch to the arm or elbow is fine and shows you are engaged with the conversation.
When it looks like the guys are leaving, ask what they plan to do with the rest of their night. If they say you are welcome to come too, go along but if they don’t, exchange numbers and say it was nice meeting them.
If you go to the club with them, make sure you aren’t too drunk. There’s no telling what you might do if you get too drunk. It’s best to keep on making a good impression. Say you are going to the toilets and go with your friends even if you don’t need it. Here is where you can get the go ahead from your friends. If they are unsure, that isn’t to say you should be too but just be alert.
8. Body Language
See how it goes from there and how close he gets to you. If he puts his arms around you, okay but if his hands go anywhere near your bum, he could be a bit of a sleaze. Is he leaning towards you? Gauge how drunk you think he is and whether you let him kiss you or not is up to you. Let him take you outside if he offers and get to know him as much as you can. Make sure your body language appears open as well.
Say goodbye and see what he does. Don’t attempt to kiss him, not even on the cheek. Let him come to you. Tell him you’ve had a really good night and it was good to meet him. If he doesn’t ask for your number, give him yours and say it would be nice to meet up again.
That’s it. It sounds straight forward but there can be many problems along the way and friends can either be a big help or a hindrance. Judge it right and you might have yourself a second date.