Right, so I’m back with what I do best. I don’t claim to be an expert in this area but I like to shed what I call a comedic light on the rollercoaster that is relationships. As I embark on what I see as my first proper serious relationship (9 months in), I can’t help but notice how very similar but how very different our personalties are.
I have read so many of those online articles from Pretty 52 and Cosmo about ‘how to tell if you have a good boyfriend’ or ‘how to tell if they are an asshole’ that I pretty much know all of the ‘warning signs’ if you like. I used to concentrate on this a lot when in previous relationships and get a bit worried when my boyfriend was more asshole than good boyfriend… but most of them are a load of crap and just scare us girls. Apparently if my boyfriend wants to shower instead of cuddle, I should be on my guard….right :L
So the point of this post is to say it’s okay to have a personality clash with your partner. We aren’t meant to all be the same. It’s cool if you are similar as well though. I see so many couples who I think are just meant to be, their mannerisms are similar (you pick these up from each other) and they have the same sense of humour.
The differences though…my boyfriend is actually really clean (weird I know! haha ;)) but I’m kinda…well um I’m not so clean (also weird since I’m a girl.) My boyfriend is organised and I’m not so. He’s a lot more low key than me and I’m pretty dramatic but guess what? We balance each other out. I get home all stressed out and he’s perfect at calming me down. He gets down about not being able to find a job and I can give some good advice having been in that position myself. Simple stuff like that goes a long way.
If we were completely the same, think how boring life would be. I’m quite opinionated and if Rich was too then it just wouldn’t work. (He’s good at talking me out of all those crazy ideas too!) I like to think I bring the adventure to the relationship and he brings the rationality. Sure, everyone has different personalities but don’t let your relationship define yourself. I found myself turning into my previous boyfriend and it wasn’t someone I liked. It took a while to actually realise who I was again but maybe that was because I didn’t feel I could be myself around him?
Now though, I can be completely myself (craziness and all) because I know my boyfriend accepts me for who I am and that’s so important. I know so many young, impressionable girls going for the wrong guys simply because they find them attractive, not because of their personalities. Sure, looks are what draw people to each other but personalities are equally important people.
For me, having a healthy relationship is where respect, friendship, love and support are the main factors. Whether you have the same sort of personality or not doesn’t matter. I would just rather have a different personality to my boyfriend because life gets more exciting ya know?