What a lovely, rainy November day we’re having! I went to take the dog out this morning and it was just spitting so I thought I’d be fine in my grey (non-waterproof) coat with the fur round the top. Umm no. I’d probably walked about five yards before it started chucking it with rain and I had to resort to making my thin scarf into a hood. I was channelling my inner 80 year self and it was not a good look. Unfortunately for Fred (my boisterous black lab) our walk was cut short to all of about 20 minutes so he is now giving me the eyes from across the lounge and huffing at me like a hard done by child. Bless him. So yeah, that’s been my morning. This post is a short letter to all of those people who’ve drifted out of my life.
Dear old friend,
I miss you, I really do. I think about the times we were really close and how you just got me. We were young and influential. Every small thing seemed like the end of the world, everyone else’s drama’s was our business and life was a major stress. I wonder if you scoff and laugh at your old self like I do? Thinking about how petty we were and how we wouldn’t have anything real to worry about for years to come. Life was free of responsibility back then. We weren’t concerned about the future or what was the best Instagram filter to highlight our cheekbones.
I miss the easiness and the care free attitude. I miss the easy way we could slip into conversation and let no one else in. As cliche as it sounds, it was us against the world. We vowed we’d always be there for each other as we were the only ones who truly understood what it was like to be young and living in such a demanding world. A world where responsibility would pull us in different directions and personal choice would break down our friendship.
The choices we made in life meant we drifted apart. It’s inevitable, it happens to lots of people. So desperate were we at the time to stay as a unit and have someone to lean on that we didn’t consider what would happen when we started chasing our dreams. I’ve realised that the path to finding what you really want is a lonely one. You can’t travel it with anyone else but yourself and I don’t blame you for not keeping in touch more. At first we would exchange stories of our separate lives, telling silly anecdotes of how we were adapting to this strange new world but it soon became apparent that our lives were too different.
We were so detached from what really went on in each other’s lives that it became easier to just get on with life. It wasn’t a sense of ignoring the other or feeling ignored but accepting that it was time to move on. Meeting up began to feel like an effort and that wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I feel sad that we’ve grown apart after all the time we spent together but I think we’ve both changed, hopefully for the better.
I believe things happen for a reason and I still think about you and wonder how you’re doing. It makes me sad that we don’t speak anymore and I like to hope that maybe one day we will for we will have a lot to catch up on. If we don’t, I want to wish you every success in life as you made my younger years the most exciting and care free they could ever be and that is something I will never forget.
From your old friend Kerrie x