Well, we made it to two years and we haven’t killed each other yet! People say cracks start to show after a year and that’s when you finally get to know who your partner really is. They say the year and a half mark is probably the most testing time of a relationship and well I’d say they’re right. I didn’t begin to get doubts as such but you’ve developed a comfortable routine with each other by this point and the honeymoon period is way over. I guess it didn’t help that I was between jobs at the time but nothing awful happened between us, it was just the longing for something exciting to happen after what has got to be the worst year personal wise.
In fact, my relationship with my boyfriend (aside from friends and family) was one of the few things to get me through it. So how do you survive the second year of a relationship?
- Cook together
This may sound like a strange one but I honestly think this has bought us closer together through the arguing over my clumsiness and how he likes to just ‘faff about’ as I call it. There’s also been some moments where we’re just like yeah, we’ve created a killer meal here! Whether it’s baking a cake or making enchiladas, we cook together fairly often and it’s definitely improved my cooking skills!
I’ve probably touched on this in other relationship themed posts but I can’t stress how important this is. Honestly, my boyfriend is better at this than I am but I’m making an effort and will try even harder next year. Do things you both enjoy.
3. Treat each other
Surprising each other unexpectedly is the best isn’t it? It could be something small like buying their favourite chocolates or as big as paying for a meal out. I wouldn’t call it ‘keeping the spark alive’ because that’s just the most soul-destroying saying in the world of relationships. Of course, we have slipped into a comfortable routine with each other now but that doesn’t mean that we still don’t have fun and don’t enjoy our relationship as much as when we first started going out. In fact, I enjoy it more now. (I feel like I’m going off on a tangent here but don’t let anybody tell you the ‘magic’ fades after a year together because it totally doesn’t.)
4. Be yourself and nothing but
Related to the point above but your partner is definitely going to realise if you’re not being completely yourself. I am always totally and irrevocably myself. I don’t hold back because I am one of those people who just puts everything into their relationship and expects the same in return. It may sound dramatic, pathetic in fact but if they’re not falling in love with the real you, then what does your future together really look like?
5. Be there for each other
I’ve definitely talked about this in previous posts but if you haven’t supported each other during the worst times then you haven’t experienced all that a relationship has to offer. They won’t make you guilty for feeling that way and will make you feel as though everything’s going to be okay (which it will be.) No matter what the problem, you will surprise yourself at how much you will care for the person you love from miss never gets close to people herself.
6. Remember to be affectionate
Easy in the first few months of a relationship but how many of us take the time to make small gestures years later? I try to say I love you as much as I can and mean it each time. I might initiate the affection instead of him (which apparently I need to do more.) It’s not so hard is it?
7. Spend time with other couples
I’m not the most sociable person, I’ll admit and only make time for my group of friends, not out of selfishness but because I care about and enjoy their company. Most of these other couples I’m referring to here are my friends and their boyfriends anyway but I have met some new couples and it’s great to be able to share experiences with others you have things in common with. We’ve been ice skating, out for meals, to fireworks and round for drinks and nibbles with other couples. We are the ultimate couples cliché and I love it.
8. Apologise for your mistakes
I hate being wrong. I don’t like to admit it and fight my corner with pride. However, sometimes you have to know when to stop and accept that actually, maybe you were wrong and they’re right. I’ve got better at this and apologise for things I’ve said or done. My boyfriend does the same. Even maybe when it doesn’t seem like an issue, it’s about seeing things from their point of view and trying to figure out why their personality didn’t like what you did. It’s about not holding grudges and not bringing up arguments from the past because what really is the point? There’s nothing you can do about it.
9. Be silly together
We are always making jokes as the others’ expense and over sharing disgusting toilet habits with each other because what is the point in hiding things from each other? If we were to move out, they’d see all this eventually anyway. From cleaning my (very waxy) ears out to showering whilst I’m on the toilet to trying (and failing) to put my hair in a ponytail to dealing with my periods every month to shaving my legs (yes, we’re a bit weird!) We help each other with everything unless it involves popping spots… I can’t stand that.
10. Love each other’s families
I think of my boyfriend’s family as my own. They’ve been so incredibly accepting and sometimes feed me more than my own family. They’ve been there every time I’ve lost a job or gained a new one and spoil me just as much as my boyfriend. I like to think my boyfriend feels the same about my family for him. It definitely makes family gatherings easier anyway.
What tips would you give for surviving the second year of a relationship?