You’ve all heard the cliches about relationships, the whole opposites attract thing. I used to wonder, how can opposites attract when they are so different? I still wonder why we are attracted to something that we are not. Curiosity at first I suppose. Then comes the fact that this person completes you. You are the adventurous, energetic live wire who thrives on experiences and your other half is the calm, the ying to your yang if you like.
This is exactly the case for my boyfriend and I. I’m the adventurous one and he grounds me when my plans are ridiculous. I know this because he raises his eyebrows and looks down at me in this highly comical way as if to say ‘stop being so ludicrous and come back to the real world’. I suppose when you are settled in your relationship, (well for me anyway) the excitement is planning all these things you can do together. Holidays and day trips, birthday celebrations and perfect nights in. The world is your oyster.
Enough of me though. Boys, I have found are happiest with the smaller things in life. They’re much less fussy than us. They’re happy to just spend time with the one they love, wherever that may be. Rich doesn’t have a massive lust for travel like I do. There’s so many places I want to visit and I know we’re young and have all the time in the world but life is short and shouldn’t we do this whilst we can?
I mean, there’s the small problem that is money. I fear Rich is much better with this than I am. Boys again don’t have the same love for shopping as we do. (Am I going off of the point of the post yet?) I’m coming to realise that we should be celebrating our differences.
I spent a while in the beginning of our relationship worrying about the ways in which we are different. Would he get bored of how disorganised I can be when he prides himself on everything having its place? Would I get annoyed at his relaxed, take one day at a time approach when I’m a plan things weeks in advance kind of girl?
Sometimes I feel like it’s tested my patience but I’m really pushing myself to be accepting and see that my way isn’t always the right way. (That’s extremely hard to accept as I like to carve my own way in life without help from others). These differences are how we balance each other out and can play to our own strengths. Also, we’d probably drive each other insane if we were both the same. Life would be boring if we all agreed on anything. A lot less tension and unhappiness but essentially too simple for us to have a meaningful existence.
We bring different things to the relationship and that’s what makes life more interesting. I like to think of us as a little team, pushing ourselves to achieve in life and constantly creating happiness for each other. You can vomit all over your screen now.
We may have differences but in many ways we are similar too. So how did we deal with these differences you may ask?
It’s so simple but vital to really talk to your partner. For example, I might bring up an instance where my boyfriend did something repeatedly that I didn’t agree with. Being late is one that springs to mind. Not something that I would make an argument out of but it’s one of my pet peeves. Turn up on time or not at all in my opinion.
I didn’t ask Rich to change his behaviour by saying he HAD to turn up on time every time but we met in the middle. I asked that he just make an effort to try and turn up a bit earlier because it would mean a lot to me. (I probably wasn’t as polite as that but I should have definitely tried phrasing it that way instead!)
This way, you aren’t trying to change their behaviour or who they are, you’re just asking for a little compromise. Easy right?
I’m all for being appreciative of each others’ differences too. The longer our relationship lasts, the further I look into the future. I want to try and make our life as argument free as it can be because my boyfriend is one of the most important people in my life. If we accept each others’ differences, be less judgemental and more loving then I think we’ve got relationships and the balance of personalities sorted.