Right now, all we want is a bit of positivity between all the depressing headlines that cloud our social media feeds. It’s hard to avoid them when you simply want to use the internet and the latest updates glare back at you in red capitals, demanding your attention. So today’s post will be about the positives in my life. Not in a gushy, these are the people and things in my life that I couldn’t do without sort of way but a few things that I’ve been enjoying this month including a new term I think I’ve coined; The Positive Pessimist. *Immediately rebrands blog*
I am much more of a pessimist than an optimist. I’m not great at finding the good in every situation (who even admits that Kerrie, seriously?) It’s true though. After years of feeling like the world was against me (because it was, it really was) I refused to believe that good things could possibly come my way.
I have started to believe though that all things happen for a reason and they’re all part of life’s plan. (Even Coronavirus has happened for a reason. We’ll all come out of it better people – I hope.)
Anyway, I really wish I was one of those ‘find good in every situation’ type of people but my confidence often wavers over the smallest things. Would I be good at that? Probably not. Did I do that piece of work well? Of course not.
Although I can be pessimistic about pretty much every situation in my life, I’m also a positive person too. I look forward to what life has to bring, I’m ambitious, I try to seek enjoyment from the small things and help others when I’m able to. Anything that is going to affect my mind-set positively, I try to engage with.
Over the last few months, this has been more difficult. The freedom that I took for granted is something I miss greatly. Everything I took for granted I miss greatly but whilst there are so many negatives, there are lots of positives.
The point of my rambling (if there is one) is that on many days, I will feel pessimistic about life but there are also so many days where I feel positive about life. Ups and downs of mental wellbeing eh? So yeah, I am the embodiment of a positive pessimist.
That phrase is something I want to explore more on my blog. I’ve wanted to talk about being self-deprecating and whether that’s a good thing for a while now. So many of us downplay our achievements or make ourselves the joke so as to appear humble and not boastful. It’s a truly British thing.
In other news, I’ve finally found a podcast that I enjoy listening to after wondering why people bored themselves to death listening to others ramble on.
Lots have been recommended but after reading the book Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, I know I had to give her podcast a try. It’s called The High Low which Dolly hosts alongside Pandora Sykes who is also a writer/journalist.
The pair discuss a range of subjects, usually the latest trends on the internet, popular TV shows, books and celebrities. They also answer questions from listeners which can range from the comical to sometimes the really sad. I enjoy the banter between Dolly and Pandora who are clearly great friends. The podcast has a nice conversational tone to it like you’re just listening to a casual chat between friends. I’m working my way through the back catalogue of episodes and have three years’ worth to listen to!
Listening to podcasts has really improved my mood and helped me feel more positive than pessimist (I can’t stop using that phrase) and I’ve even found myself turning to them in place of music when I go on a walk. I haven’t completely abandoned my Spotify playlists though. There’s a few albums I’ve been enjoying recently which have been instant mood lifters.
- Some Nights- Fun
- Glorious – Foxes
- Don’t Wanna – Haim
- Eats Me Up – Fickle Friends
Aside from what I’ve been doing, it seems crazy that it’s going to be June tomorrow. Spending the last two months doing practically nothing has been strange and has felt like an unproductive waste of time. One thing that I will be trying to do less of in June is getting my hopes up about social distancing rules changing. Every time we get to the end of a 3 week review period, I get my hopes up that things are changing and whilst they are, the minuscule steps that have been taken just frustrate me more. Of course I want to be safe but when even the government are hazy over the rules and give out conflicting information, it’s really difficult to have faith that we’re doing the right thing.
The world seems like such an angry and terrified place at the moment. I’m trying to avoid the news as much as possible but I also know it’s important to be educated about these issues. They can’t be ignored and even if it’s a small action, at least we’re doing something.
I’m trying to think ahead to what the world will be like in around 3 months’ time when most businesses are open and accepting customers again. I wonder what it will be like to sit in my favourite restaurant and abide by social distancing. I wonder what the queuing system will be like in pubs. I wonder what it will be like to have my hair cut and coloured. I wonder what it will be like going back to the office. I wonder what it will be like to hug friends and family again. None of the above are things I ever thought would be absent from life but here we are.
Less of the negative thoughts though. Having this blog as an outlet for my thoughts has been a good way to reflect and the last couple of months have given me time to think about what’s important to me. When life starts to resemble normal again, I feel like I have a clearer picture of what I want the future to look like.
Before this all started, I realise how much extravagant ‘stuff’ I wanted to happen but when life is put into perspective by a global pandemic, it makes you appreciate the small things and maybe now I just want something a bit simpler out of life. Does that make sense?
Next month, I promise I’ll write some posts that don’t mention coronavirus. I’ve found it difficult to even find the motivation to write recently and my creativity feels like a distant memory but blogging is something I enjoy so I will get planning.
What has your May looked like?